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Mummy and Raj

Life after losing my superhero

Author / mummyandraj

Some storms DO last forever🌩

I just saw a quote about dont worry, no storm lasts forever, but it truly feels like the storm i’m in will never shift. Yea I can smile and laugh but there is a sadness deep in my soul. It will always be there. Raj was my world. It’s like someone took my best friend […]

Months of bliss

April 2013 onwards: In April 2013 we held our first ever dinner and dance for The Raj Rana Fund. 100% of all funds we raised went towards research with The Brain Tumour Charity. It was an amazing event and we sold over 320 tickets. It was a night full of dancing, food and lots of […]

Faith 🙏

I am a Sikh. I believe in One God. I get told often, keep faith. The truth is I always have. I know many people talk about losing faith. They often say how can God exist because if there was a God, why would a child like Raj die? Why do I believe in God? […]

Work? 🤔

It’s hard to believe this now, but I honestly thought I would be OK when Raj died. After all, I had known for months that his condition was terminal. Unlike some parents, I had been given time to prepare for this loss. I convinced myself I could deal with it. I knew I would have […]

Kamrans Ward

Raj’s treatment took place on Kamrans Ward at John Radcliffe Hospital. Chemo can be horrendous. Our experience of it was a pretty smooth one. Raj loved the ward. He didnt mind being there as they had a playroom with lots of toys. They had lots and lots of dvds. I swear I watched Jurrassic Park […]

Missing my little buddy ❤

I miss laughing! Laughing every single day with Raj. For those who dont know, Im a single mummy. It was just me and Raj for a long time now. We had our routines and fun little games we would play with each other. He also told me I was boring though but that didnt bother […]

No rhyme or rhythm

One minute you are sat there all fine. Next thing you know you are literally sobbing your heart out, tears streaming down your face with your heart feeling like it is totally broken. There literally is no rhyme or rhythm to grief. You cant plan for it. That I am finding so hard to deal […]

Red pill or blue pill?

The three months following Raj’s 1st op were quite surreal. It was as if nothing had happened. Raj was so so normal. Running around as usual. No lasting effects of surgery at all. Jay rang us for results of the tumour analysis and said the pathology was difficult. Raj’s tumour looked like 2 different types. […]

Where did it all start?

I’m sat here drinking my morning coffee. Thinking about Raj. Feeling empty. Every morning was busy. Woken up by Raj to the words ‘morning mum’. I still wake up and say ‘morning Raj’ in reply to the words I dont hear. In my head, I still hear him. We never ever had a lie in! […]

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