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Mummy and Raj

Life after losing my superhero

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Happy Birthday Baby Boy πŸ’šβ€

Message to my monkey: Happy 9th birthday to the most beautiful boy I know. I love you so so much baby. Im so sorry we cant be together properly. Just know that mummy misses her monkey every single moment of every single day….especially today. Today is your day. I love you to the moon and […]

Forever Sad πŸ’”

I know I wasn’t planning to write any more blog posts for the near future but I am missing Raj so much recently. I wanted to write about him. It is now December. Raj would have been 9 this month. It’s all I can think about. I would have been planning his birthday well in […]

Missing Sunday cuddles πŸ€—

Sundays are always so chilled. It’s the day I chill and just lounge around the house. Binge watching tv. A real family kind of day. Sadly the most important boy in my life cant spend Sundays with me. The Lego Movie is curently playing in the background. Yep, Raj would have been watching this. Giggling […]

Some storms DO last forever🌩

I just saw a quote about dont worry, no storm lasts forever, but it truly feels like the storm i’m in will never shift. Yea I can smile and laugh but there is a sadness deep in my soul. It will always be there. Raj was my world. It’s like someone took my best friend […]

Months of bliss

April 2013 onwards: In April 2013 we held our first ever dinner and dance for The Raj Rana Fund. 100% of all funds we raised went towards research with The Brain Tumour Charity. It was an amazing event and we sold over 320 tickets. It was a night full of dancing, food and lots of […]

Faith πŸ™

I am a Sikh. I believe in One God. I get told often, keep faith. The truth is I always have. I know many people talk about losing faith. They often say how can God exist because if there was a God, why would a child like Raj die? Why do I believe in God? […]

Work? πŸ€”

It’s hard to believe this now, but I honestly thought I would be OK when Raj died. After all, I had known for months that his condition was terminal. Unlike some parents, I had been given time to prepare for this loss. I convinced myself I could deal with it. I knew I would have […]

Kamrans Ward

Raj’s treatment took place on Kamrans Ward at John Radcliffe Hospital. Chemo can be horrendous. Our experience of it was a pretty smooth one. Raj loved the ward. He didnt mind being there as they had a playroom with lots of toys. They had lots and lots of dvds. I swear I watched Jurrassic Park […]

Missing my little buddy β€

I miss laughing! Laughing every single day with Raj. For those who dont know, Im a single mummy. It was just me and Raj for a long time now. We had our routines and fun little games we would play with each other. He also told me I was boring though but that didnt bother […]

No rhyme or rhythm

One minute you are sat there all fine. Next thing you know you are literally sobbing your heart out, tears streaming down your face with your heart feeling like it is totally broken. There literally is no rhyme or rhythm to grief. You cant plan for it. That I am finding so hard to deal […]

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